Daily Limerick
Friday, May 18, 2012
and Sloop (Biederman) Central

Click on "Sloop Central" below for info on performances, show Webcasts, headshots/resumes, songs, the Stand-Up Poem of the Month, blah blah blah. You can also find him on Facebook and we're ashamed to be on Twitter, too (@dailylimerickne). Or e-mail Sloop, for all we care!

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Contains Immature (not 'mature') Content; but just in case... If You’re a Minor, Go Away!

With Slappin' and Yappin' commentary, Letters to the Idiot (e-mail Sloop), Unofficial Wednesday 'Food' Content , Traditional (non-news) Limerick Saturdays...and more!

Delightfully Offensive since 1999; updated DAILY, 'round midnight (usually), U.S. Central

Kind of a “blog” since before the term “blog”—except it’s edited, done by the vaguely “qualified” and doesn’t totally suck ass (most days)! (Led by Chief Limericist Sloop Biederman, comedy writer from MAD Magazine to the Chicago Tribune's RedEye and performer from L.A.'s Comedy Store to the Chicago Comedy Festival.)

DAILY LIMERICK 5/18/2012:

For News, Golden Rule's Objectivity!

Yet weather cov'rage shows proclivity

to shout out, "Hooray!"--

high 80s, mid-May--

speak for 'selves! Spring temps I'd, for bit, dig see!

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SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 5/18/2012:

Watched Leno with pops recently, home visiting the parents...Chief Limericist, here...and... Okay. I've touched on this topic before, but now it's decided.

Don't understand what the hubbub is about them, but the Kardashians are... Okay, Kim's pretty, but that's far eclipsed by the fact that... Well, that butt! To each his own and all, but that's beyond J-Lo Fully Ample. We're talkin' Aunt Bea territory.

The other two? Hideous. Beyond hideous. And you know they're dolled-up with the best lighting and makeup artists and... Let's just say that, wake up next to a Kardashian in the morning and we're talking Monster territory. And/or fear for being crushed to death by Gluteus Ridiculous.

So... Not only would I certainly kick any and all Kardashians out of my bed for eatin' cookies--but I'd never let any even near my bed, cookies or no cookies!

Nicest thing I can say about them, in fact, is that I guess I'd join Kim in her bed, solely for oral homage, if she begged me, paid me, hid that monstrosity of an ass under covers, I was allowed a thorough search ahead of time to dismantle any cameras...and I were allowed to eat cookies...

Maybe...

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